Finding Peace
“I just want some peace.”
How many times have you heard someone say that? Or maybe you’ve said it yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed by life’s stressors and demands.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how I can find more peace in my life. Peace at work, in my relationships, in my mind, and in the world.
It’s not easy to do in our modern society, which demands so much of our time, attention, and energy. Mobile phones and text messaging set expectations that we’ll be available whenever someone wants our attention. Social media and endless feeds have encouraged us to quickly move on to the next short sound bite without giving our full attention to what we’re asked to consider. The one-hour lunch break is becoming almost obsolete, and siestas in some cultures are becoming a thing of the past. Work expectations have grown. Too often, I struggle just to find a moment to breathe or sit down and peacefully enjoy a meal.
Peace might mean different things to different people. To me, it means completely unplugging from demands and stressors. It means quietness, steadiness, and not feeling pressured to accomplish more than I can realistically do at the moment.
This makes me think about the people I sit with every day in cancer care. I can only imagine how difficult it is to find peace when cancer enters your life.
On top of all of the pressures of regular everyday life, cancer brings with it necessary appointments, challenging treatment side effects, and additional worry, concerns, and significant changes in your life that you weren’t prepared for. When cancer enters your life, it demands an enormous amount of your attention; and that is attention that you can’t always give to other aspects of your life, including finding peace.
So how can we find even small moments of peace?
I think peace often comes from unplugging from the demands of life, even if it’s just for a few hours or a few moments.
Cancer might not always let you completely unplug.
So how else can you find peace when completely unplugging isn’t an option?
As I think about this, something occurs to me. When I look back on the moments when I’ve actually felt peaceful, they haven’t always been times when I’ve managed to get away from everything. Sometimes they’ve been moments when I’ve found myself completely absorbed in something that matters to me.
It might be spending a little time with certain people who make me feel seen, heard, and cared about; or connecting with the beauty of nature and the planet that I live on; or sitting for a few minutes with art, literature, or music; or disappearing into a beautiful story in a book or movie.
Maybe peace comes when we give ourselves permission to sit with what we value most, the things that feed our soul.
Perhaps finding peace isn’t always about what we can disconnect from. Sometimes it might be about what we connect with.
And maybe, even when life doesn’t allow us to completely unplug, we can still find moments of peace within it.
Reflections on the inner psychological experience of living alongside cancer.
Jae L. Ross, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist who works with individuals and families whose lives have been reshaped by cancer, helping them navigate the emotional challenges of diagnosis, treatment, and beyond.
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