A psycho-oncology reflection on bravery, fear, and curiosity—and how living with cancer sometimes asks for something other than being brave.

A patient recently reminded me of the familiar saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Then he added something I had never considered. “What makes it lemonade is what you add to the lemon.” I had always understood the saying as an invitation to make the best of something difficult. But his words suggested a different way of looking at it. Consider what happens when we make lemonade. Adding sweetness doesn’t erase the lemon’s tartness, and water doesn’t ask the le

We’ve all said some version of it before. “I love you, but you drive me crazy.” “I’m grateful, but I wish things were different.” “I’m excited, but I’m terrified.” Read those again. Where did the weight of your attention go? If you’re like most of us, your mind probably settled almost immediately on whatever came after the word but. I’ve long wondered why that is. It’s only three letters. Yet somehow, this tiny word has a significant influence on the way we experience our liv