A psycho-oncology reflection on finding your way after cancer changes the path ahead—and learning that sometimes the way forward appears only as you begin to walk it.

A patient recently reminded me of the familiar saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Then he added something I had never considered. “What makes it lemonade is what you add to the lemon.” I had always understood the saying as an invitation to make the best of something difficult. But his words suggested a different way of looking at it. Consider what happens when we make lemonade. Adding sweetness doesn’t erase the lemon’s tartness, and water doesn’t ask the le

"I don’t know why I cried." A patient said this to me not long ago. She described an afternoon sitting outside with her family, watching the children play. Nothing remarkable had happened. It was one of those ordinary afternoons that unexpectedly become beautiful while we’re living them. Without warning, tears came to her eyes. A family member noticed and asked what was wrong. "I don’t know," she replied. "I just want more moments like this." Her family knew she had recently

We’ve all said some version of it before. “I love you, but you drive me crazy.” “I’m grateful, but I wish things were different.” “I’m excited, but I’m terrified.” Read those again. Where did the weight of your attention go? If you’re like most of us, your mind probably settled almost immediately on whatever came after the word but. I’ve long wondered why that is. It’s only three letters. Yet somehow, this tiny word has a significant influence on the way we experience our liv

A Test of Patience Impatience is a feeling most of us know well. Stuck in traffic when you need to be somewhere. Waiting in a long line when you have other things to do. Watching the phone for an important call that hasn’t come yet. The wanting of something to happen faster than it is. Most of us learn to live with these moments. They soon pass. But when cancer enters your life, impatience rises to a level few have experienced before. There's an alien threat inside your body